


Dead Flowers: A Marauder's Story

by lanemoore



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 1970s, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Hogwarts, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Multi, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:29:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29587950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanemoore/pseuds/lanemoore
Summary: A story of a girl who goes against her family.A story of a boy who does the same.A story of a girl who loves someone she knows is destined for terrible things.A story of a boy who doesn't know who he is yet.A story of a boy who feels like two different people.A story of a boy who just wants to be loved and accepted. Safe.And the story of how they all become a part of each other's lives, for better or worse.*****Violet Rowle comes from a long line of pure-blood supremacists and die hard Slytherins. So when she is sorted into Gryffindor, along with her childhood best friend Sirius Black, shock waves are felt through the Sacred 28.Will have snippets from the first six years at school, but will mainly cover seventh year and after.Slow burn. Will have smut, but will take awhile to get there.J.K. Rowling owns all of this. Except any original characters.Feedback and comments are welcome. I am an aspiring author, so really would love to know what you think of writing style, pacing, characterization, etc!
Relationships: James Potter/Original Female Character(s), Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Mary Macdonald/Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 5





	1. Prologue

Whispers from a wardrobe, muffled by ancient fur coats that had hung there for ages. Long forgotten. 

XXXX

“Shh, Sirius.” I mumbled, placing my hand over his mouth to shut him up.”He’ll hear us!” I hissed. 

Even in the dark space, I could see his eyes widen, before narrowing into their usual look of mischief. Then I felt his mouth open under my hand and his tongue start to poke the palm of my hand. 

“Ugh!” I said, a little too loudly, and we both went still to listen for any approaching noises. When we were sure no one was coming, I smacked Sirius’s cheek lightly, rubbing his own spit back on to his smooth cheek. “You’re bloody disgusting.” I whispered to him. 

The light from between the wardrobe doors shone on his white teeth as his face broke into a wide grin. 

“Relax, Lettie.” he whispered back to me, wiping the little line of spit off his face and then wiping his hands on his trousers. “He never finds us in here. Little chicken is too scared to come into this room.” 

“I don’t know why.” I said, leaning back to press my back to the plush coats behind me. 

Sirius snorted, “Probably because we told him your great-great grandmother poisoned her children in this room.” he said with a laugh, “And the git actually believed us.” 

I shrugged, but smiled at him across the small space at the old memory. 

“Poor Reggie,” Sirius continued, a sad look on his usually playful face. “Destined to be in Slytherin with all the other lily-livered snakes.” he said and shook his head, causing his black shaggy hair to fall into his eyes. 

I reached over and pushed it up out of his face for him. “Aren't we all?” I asked him, quieter than before. 

Sirius Black and I both came from ancient Sacred Twenty Eight families where everyone was a Slythernin and pure-blood status was everything. Or else. 

Sirius seemed to sit up taller and puffed out his chest, “I’m not.” he adamantly said. 

I knew Sirius hated his family and all they stood for, I felt the same way about my own. But to actually do anything about was something else entirely.  
“What do you mean, Sirius?” I asked him. “You’re mother would blast you off the family tapestry for just thinking things like that, let alone saying them out loud.” 

“Let her,” he said, meaning every word and leaning closer to me across the small space. “Once we’re at Hogwarts, Lettie, we can be whoever we want to be. You know that right?” he asked, grabbing my small hands in his own. Both of our palms smooth and uncalloused. The hands of children who had grown up in the lap of luxury. 

“Who do you want to be?” I asked him. 

He thought hard for a moment, before grinning at me. “I think I’d make a pretty good Gryffindor don’t you?” 

I actually gasped at what he was saying. “You can’t be…” 

He cut me off with a waggle of his dark brows causing me to roll my eyes at his tired joke. 

“You’d be a good one too,” he said, a serious expression back on his face. “You are braver than anyone else I know.” he squeezed my hand to help make his point. 

“I don’t know what you mean,” I said, my brow furrowing in confusion. 

He gave me a pointed look, like I was playing the fool. “Lettie,” he trailed off, and I felt his thumb start to draw small circles on the back of my hand. “You live with the two worst people I know. And you know my mother...” 

I quickly looked down at our hands, unable to meet his eyes anymore. 

He wasn’t wrong. My father was an elderly pure-blood fanatic whose mind was going. But it only made him more terrible. And my older brother Thorfinn was no better. He was a bully and an arsehole, and believed every insane word that fell from my decrepit father’s lips. 

And since my mother died when I was four, they were the only family I had left in the world. 

The day that my brother had left for Hogwarts five years ago had been the happiest day of my life. I was sure it would be the memory I would use when I eventually tried to cast my first patronus. 

“Lettie,” Sirius whispered, forcing my eyes back up. “You live with monsters who it would be so easy to let change and control you, but you don’t. You never have. You stand up to them, and I know you suffer for it.” he said, giving me a knowing look. 

But there was no way he could know even the half of it. 

And lately it had only gotten worse. There were more people coming to our manor than ever before. Men and women who would set up in the dining room and talk for hours about dangerous things. 

I had never felt actually unsafe in my own home until now. The only thing that made it bearable was that occasionally Sirius and his little brother would come along with their parents and we got to play while they had their meetings. 

We had known each other since we were in diapers, and Sirius Black was my best friend. But even he couldn’t be here all the time. 

Which was why I couldn’t wait to board the Hogwarts Express tomorrow for the first time and leave it all behind. Hope suddenly shone so bright inside of me that I couldn't stop the grin that broke out on my face. 

“You’re right,” I whispered to Sirius when I realized he was. And I wanted the same thing he did. 

The smile he shot back to me was blinding, and I realized it was because the doors to the wardrobe had been thrown open, letting the light in. 

“Found you!” Regulus shouted at us, pointing both of his fingers to where we were half-hidden among the furs.


	2. Changes

And these children that you spit on  
As they try to change their worlds  
Are immune to your consultations  
They're quite aware of what they're goin' through  
\- David Bowie, “Changes” 1971 

The next morning I was up before the house elves. I quickly dressed in a black dress, reaching below my knees and threw a set of my black velvet robes over it. I hated the clothes my father made me wear. It looked like I came straight out of the 1700s. The clothes made me feel like a puppet, like I was dressing up like someone I wasn’t. 

Anytime I found myself on the rare trip to London, I would watch the other girls my age with envy. They all looked so happy and confident in their mini-dresses and boots, or bell bottoms and crop tops. There was nothing I longed for more than a set of pale blue bell bottoms and a pair of chunky heels. But my father would lock me in my room for even asking for those things. 

“Muggle trash.” he had spat out the last time I asked for a few galleons to buy some new clothes and had mentioned blue jeans. “No daughter of mine could ever wish to dress like they do.” 

And then my brother joined in with an evil grin on his pale face. “Why do you want to dress like a mudblood anyway, Violet?” he asked me, adding, “They’re all whores and filth. Do you want to be a filthy whore, Violet? Is that?” 

I was eleven and it was Christmas dinner. 

Tears had pricked my eyes as he threw the usual insults at me. Years ago, I would have looked to my father for some sort of protection from my brother’s abuse. But had long since learned he was not one to help or care. 

So I had just looked back at my dinner plate and carried on like I had never even said anything. 

Now, I shook my head at my reflection in the mirror. The other kids on the train would surely be dressed in hip muggle clothes since we didn’t have to change into our school robes until we were closer to school. They were all sure to think I was a stuck-up pureblood, just like my family, when they saw me in these traditional clothes. 

Not the first impression I wanted to make at all. 

“At least Sirius will be dressed like this too.” I said to myself with a halfhearted nod. 

“Still wish you got to dress like a filthy mudblood, huh?” a voice hissed from my doorway. 

I whipped around to see my brother leaning on the open door frame. How long had he been there? The fact that I didn’t hear him open the door concerned me. He had his beefy arms crossed over his chest. He’d grown several inches over the summer, and liked to throw his height around. No doubt loving the way he filled the space of my door, knowing I would never be able to make it past him if I tried. 

I went to my open trunk at the foot of my bed instead of engaging him and started throwing the last few items I needed to pack into it. I had learned through trial and error that it was best to ignore Thorfinn when he was like this. Which was all the time. 

“You and your little friend better keep your muggle loving to yourselves at school.” he said lowly. “No one in Slytherin wants to hear you two’s shitty music or talk about how muggle’s dress.” 

At his mention of music, my eyes flew to the corner of a Rolling Stones album that was hidden under several rolls of parchment in my trunk. 

“Oh yes,” he purred, still holding up the doorframe. “I know all about your little collection.” 

My eyes closed as I waited for whatever he was about to say to me. No doubt he had plans to tell my father about my record collection. The only muggle items I had managed to keep hidden in this godforsaken manor and my prized possessions. 

“Don’t worry, Violet,” he said, “I haven’t told the old man about them...yet.” his voice was dangerous. “But step one toe out of line at school, or embarrass me in anyway and I will send him an owl faster than you can say “Sticky Fingers,” or whatever the fuck that pathetic album is called.” 

With that threat hanging in the air between us, he swept from the room with a huff. Leaving me with my eyes still closed and trying to calm my breathing. 

The sooner I got out of this house, the better. I only wished it would be forever. 

XXXX

“Come on, Lettie!” Sirius yelled over the loud whistle of the train as he gripped my hand tightly and pulled me towards an open door of the Hogwarts Express. “Or all the compartments will get nabbed!” 

Once he had seen me breeze through the platform, he had given his little brother a tight hug, ruffled his hair, and set off for me. All he offered his parents by way of goodbye was a casual peace sign thrown in the air, which made me giggle. 

Thorfinn had shook my father’s hand and strode off importantly to find his friends, and my father had turned back towards the platform without so much as a glance in my direction. Not that I was expecting one, or even really wanted one. 

So I let my friend drag me along the crowded platform that was covered in a thick, billowing steam, happy to be with someone who loved me at least. 

And Sirius was in just a stodgy outfit as mine, thank Merlin. Most of the other Sacred 28 families had relaxed their own rules and let their children wear some form of muggle fashion. 

But not the Noble House of Black or Rowle. 

I couldn’t wait to slip into my Hogwarts uniform and look just like everyone else, I thought as I noticed a few older girls looking at my outfit with barely concealed disdain in their eyes. My brother would hex them and ask them their bloody last names if they had looked at him that way, but I prided myself on being more evolved than Thorfinn, and just smiled back sweetly at them. 

Well maybe not that sweetly, they were being awfully judgmental after all. 

Once we’d boarded the train, Sirius stopped dragging me and pulled me to his side so we could walk arm in arm down the narrow corridor, looking for an empty compartment. We very nearly gave up until we came to the second to last one and found the door slid open and the benches empty. 

“Thank Merlin!” Sirius exclaimed dramatically as he threw himself across one of the benches and lay on his stomach, his chin placed in his hands. “Thought we’d have to share with some nasty Slytherins.”

I chuckled at his antics and plopped down in the seat across from him, propping my feet up onto his bench. “And how awful that would have been.” I said with a look of mock horror on my face. 

“It would well and truly have been, Lettie!” he sat up huffily. “You’re still going to try to get sorted into Gryffindor with me aren’t you?” 

“Can you try to get sorted into a house?” I asked, curiously. “Doesn’t the Sorting Hat decide for you.” 

“Ah,” Sirius said, with a twinkle in his eye and stroked his chin like he was much older than he was. “I have it on good authority that you can make requests.” 

I never got the chance to ask him whose authority that may be, though, because the door to the compartment slid open with a bang, revealing two boys in muggle clothes. 

One had a mess of curly black hair, round glasses that shone in the midmorning sun, and a wide grin on his face that looked eerily like the one Sirius got when he was excited. The other was a little shorter than his companion, with blonde hair falling into his hooded light eyes and baby fat still lining his cheeks. 

“First years?” the dark-headed one asked Sirius and me, looking between the two of us with his head poked into the compartment. 

“Yep.” Sirius responded with a grin that matched the boy’s. “And yourselves?”

“Sure are!” the dark-headed one said, taking a confident step into the space, the blonde boy on his heels. “Mind if we share with you two? Everywhere else is full.” 

Even though he was asking, it was clear he was planning on staying anyway as he plopped down in the empty space next to my best friend. The blonde boy seemed to have better manners and gave me a shy smile while shuffling his feet on the carpeted floor. “May I?” he asked me, gesturing his head to the empty space next to me. 

I liked him right away, I decided. And nodded at him to sit down. 

“How formal of you Pete!” the dark-headed one said loudly as he watched our exchange. “Didn’t know you could be such a bloody gentleman.” he snorted. 

The blonde boy, Pete, was embarrassed by his friend, and his cheeks colored a bright red, but he stood up for himself at least. “Oh, shove off, James. Not everyone has your charm.” he said back to his friend. 

The dark-headed boy laughed back so loudly it filled the small room and made me stare at him like he was a loon. But Sirius loved it, and was smiling wider than I ever remember seeing him smile. I wasn’t surprised. We were both so rarely around truly happy people who laughed so freely that it was nice, I supposed. 

“I’m Sirius Black.” he said, holding his hand out to the boy next to him. “And your laugh is bloody brilliant.” 

“James Potter,” the dark-headed boy said, gripping Sirius’s hand and giving it a firm shake as if they were in a job interview. “And thank you very much. My mum likes it too.” 

I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes, and turned instead to the boy next to me. “I’m Violet Rowle,” I said, holding my own hand out. “But just call me Lettie.” 

“Nice to meet you, Lettie,” he said, giving my hand a light shake. “I’m Peter Pettigrew.” 

“Nice to meet you too,” I said back politely, and turned back to introduce myself to the boy across the way. 

“Violet Rowle,” James said, looking like he was thinking about something, “And Sirius Black…” he trailed off. “So are you two going to be as stuck up as the rest of your families or are you cooler than all that?” the grin on his face didn’t match the words that were coming out of it. 

I felt my mouth open slightly at his insult. I’d never actually heard anyone speak so openly, not even Sirius. Our families were a part of the Sacred 28, but it wasn’t something that we openly discussed. It would have been the height of distaste. It was something we all knew, and were supposed to respect, but never to be actually said aloud. 

His last name was Potter, which I had heard of, of course. They were pure-bloods, but had been excluded from the list and been labeled blood traitors for some reason or another, not that I would ever have said that out loud to the boy, for Merlin’s sake. 

I felt myself sit up taller and my eyes narrow and was about to say something rude back, but Sirius beat me to it. 

He laughed a real laugh and said, “We both hate our bloody families, mate. In fact,” he continued in a low conspiratorial whisper, “we plan on getting sorted into Gryffindor.”

“Good man!” James said, slapping Sirius on his back, which in turn caused my friend to beam even harder. 

But then James focused his attention on me. I was still in my haughty pose, and realized I was literally looking down my nose at him. A pose my father often struck, and one I particularly hated. I tried to relax into a more casual pose and hoped no one noticed. 

But of course James Potter noticed. “I believe you” he said to Sirius, “but no way the Pure Blood Princess over there is going to be wearing anything other than green tonight.” 

My blood boiled in my veins at his insinuation. “Who do you think you are?” I hissed, clenching my fists that were sitting on my thighs and my eyes narrowing. 

James Potter just smiled at me, like the cat who caught the canary, and lifted his palms up in front of him. “I’m just kidding, Princess, relax.” 

Sirius took one look at the murderous expression on my face and mumbled, “Would probably stop calling her princess, mate.” 

I was still glaring at James Potter when the door to the compartment slid open once again, but only one person stood there this time. 

He was tall, taller than all of us in the compartment, and had light brown hair that was longer than Peter’s but shorter than Sirius’s. His moss green eyes were wary as he looked around the small space with a tight frown on his lips. 

But it wasn’t his lips or his eyes that I was stuck staring at. It was the long, silvery scar that ran over his left eye, like some wild animal had scratched him long ago. 

“Mind if I join you lot?” He asked, his voice low and shy, as if he already expected us to kick him out. I instantly felt something for him. Not pity, because no one liked to be pitied, but something akin to pity, I had to admit. 

“Of course you can!” I said cheerily, and scooted closer to the window so there was a space between Peter and me. 

The new boy gave me a grateful smile with just one corner of his mouth and gingerly sat in the space after stowing his satchel in the racks above. He was wearing a long sleeved jumper, but I couldn't help notice the fact that his hands were also covered in small scars. 

I tore my gaze away from his hands when James Potter shocked none of the people who had already met him by breaking the silence. He shot his own hand out and cheerfully introduced himself to the stranger. 

“Remus Lupin.” the boy said, giving James’s hand a quick shake. He turned to me next, 

“I’m Violet Rowle,” I said, not bothering with the formality of shaking hands. “Nice to meet you, Remus.” 

I smiled at him and he smiled back, and I felt a little warm feeling spread in my chest that I only ever got around Sirius. 

“I’m Peter,” the blonde boy said from his other side, causing him to turn in his chair. “Pettigrew.” 

“Peter.” Remus said with a nod of his head, and then turned to the last person in the compartment. 

That was when I realized how oddly Sirius was staring at Remus. His dark grey eyes were too wide and his mouth was slightly open. I was immediately embarrassed to be his friend. How could he stare at the poor boy’s scar like that? He wasn’t normally so judgmental, and I had to fight the urge to kick his shin as hard as I could before Remus noticed his rudeness. 

Too late. 

Remus sat up a little taller in his seat and said, “And you are?” to Sirius with a little bit of ice in his voice. 

This finally seemed to snap Sirius out of his trance. Thank Merlin. 

“Sirius Black,” he said, and held out his hand almost shyly. 

What was his bloody deal? 

The two boy’s shook hands awkwardly and the whole room filled with tension. 

My brain was going blank as I tried to come up with something to make things normal again, and , yet again, it was James who broke the tense silence. 

“First year?” he asked Remus, who nodded as he sat back in his seat. 

“Same here!” Peter said excitedly. “What house do you reckon you’ll be sorted into?” 

“Not this again.” I groaned, shooting James a mean look to remind him I still didn’t like him. He just smiled a cheeky grin back at me. 

Remus looked at us with a confused look on his face, but then answered kind of shyly, “Well, my dad was a Gryffindor. But I wouldn’t mind Ravenclaw either.” 

“Ravenclaw?” James responded, wrinkling his nose. “Do you like to read or something?” 

I shook my head at his idiocy, but Remus just laughed. “Yeah I do, actually.” 

“We’re all going for Gryffindor.” Sirius finally piped up. 

We all looked at him thinking he would continue, but he apparently had said all he wanted to say. I shot him a look, but he was still looking at Remus. 

“Even though the Princess over there is so obviously a Slytherin.” James said with a big grin on his face. 

“Ugh,” I said, “I swear to Merlin. He’s lying, Remus. I don’t want anything to do with Slytherin.” 

And I was almost positive I meant every word I’d just said. Almost. 

He looked reassured, “That’s good, because I’m a half-blood. Not sure Slytherins are allowed to be friends with half-bloods.” he said with a laugh. 

Friends. His choice of words made the warm feeling in me spread to my fingers and toes. 

“Lettie is my best friend.” Sirius blurted out of nowhere, his eyes narrowed at Remus. “Always has been, and always will be. Right, Lettie?” he said, turning to me. 

Was he jealous or something? He was acting so weirdly. 

“Right.” I said carefully. 

“You can have her!” James said gleefully and then squealed when I slipped off my shoe and threw it at his head, causing the rest of the boys to erupt into giggles. 

XXXX

The Great Hall was the most beautiful place I had ever been. 

With the night sky above me and the long tables set with glimmering empty dishes and goblets. And my best friend standing next to me, I was well and truly happy. 

Until I saw the witch, Professor McGonnagal, drag a small stool to the front of everyone and place an old wide brimmed, pointy hat onto it. 

The Sorting Hat. 

James Potter whistled lowly when he saw it. Somehow, Sirius and I were still in a little group with him, Peter, and Remus. I didn’t mind Peter, he seemed sweet, and I actually did like Remus. 

But could have done without James Potter tagging along. 

Unfortunately for me, once he had gotten over his awkwardness about Remus’s scars, Sirius had opened up and seemed to have found a kindred spirit in James. So it seemed like he would be around alot. 

The hat suddenly started singing a song about the four houses, a large rip in it’s brim opening into a sort of mouth. 

My nerves were mounting with each passing moment, and I really wouldn't have minded if the old thing kept singing all night. But eventually it ended and Professor McGonnagal called the first name, an Abbott who I didn’t recognize, and the sorting began. 

I could feel the eyes of several people on Sirius and I from the far left, and turned my head to see who it could be. My stomach dropped when I saw my brother, scowl on his face, staring at us and who we were standing with. Sitting next to him was Narcissa Black, Sirius’s cousin, with her pale hair and face, looking as pinched as ever. 

I was just glad Sirius’s other cousin, Bellatrix, had already graduated. She was the scary one, in my opinion. And was also one of the people who had been at my house quite a bit over the last year. 

“Tossers.” Sirius whispered to me when he noticed where I was looking. “The lot of them.” 

I just nodded. 

And then Sirius’s name was called. He turned and gave me a big wide grin and a wink. 

“Watch this, Lettie.” he said to me, and then swaggered his way up to the stool. 

I held my breath as McGonnagal gave him a shrewd look and placed the hat lightly on his head. This was the moment he had been waiting so long for. To finally be in control of his own destiny. I only hoped it worked for him. 

“Come on,” I heard James mutter under his breath next to me, “Come on, mate.” 

Sirius sat there with his eyes on the stone floor in front of him with his fingers gripping the seat of the stool so hard his knuckles were white and bloodless. He looked ready to fight. Determined for things to go his way, for once. 

When the brim of the hat widened and yelled out “Gryffindor!” everything went still. 

No one in the Great Hall said anything, no one even moved. 

From the table we were closest to I heard someone whisper to their friend. “Isn’t he a Black though?” 

Sirius lifted his grey twinkling eyes up slowly at the same time that a massive grin took over his face. His eyes locked on mine and his eyes flared a little. 

He hopped down swiftly from the stool, and started to saunter over to the table on the far right where the Gryffindors were sitting. Only then did the room clap for him, still confused as to what had just happened. 

“Merlin,” I muttered to myself. “He actually did it.” 

“He sure did.” Remus said from right behind me. 

I felt the eyes from the Slytherin table on me even stronger now, like flames licking my cheeks, but I refused to turn my head and look. My brother’s face was probably mottled with rage by this point. He knew how close Sirius and I were. And how alike we thought. 

A few more names were called and then it was Remus’s turn. 

“Good luck.” I said as he walked slowly to the front of the group of first years without a word. 

“His dad was a lion,” James said confidently, “he will be too.” 

“Yeah.” Peter, who sounded very nervous, affirmed his friend. 

The hat sat on Remus’s head for a little over a minute before it shouted out Gryffindor. It didn’t take as long for the room to break out into applause. And Sirius, who must have still been feeling high from his victory, stood on the bench and whistled for his new friend. All awkwardness from the train long forgotten. 

“That a boy,” James said as he watched Remus walk to take the seat next to Sirius. “Two down, three to go.” he said, and gave me a grin. “Or two, whatever you want, Princess.” 

“Stop.” I said firmly as I watched a girl get sorted into Hufflepuff and a boy to Ravenclaw. 

And then it was Peter’s turn. 

“You can do it, Pete.” James said to his friend with a slap on his back as he walked to the stool. 

Peter’s turn took the longest of any before him. It took the hat more than five minutes to make its decision. The Great Hall sat in tense silence as we waited. 

James had taken up his mantra again and was mumbling, “Come on,” over and over under his breath for his friend. 

The two of them had grown up just down the road from each other and had been close since they were young, they told us on the train. Peter seemed too nice for a bloke like James, but the fact that he wouldn’t stop calling me princess wasn’t really helping James’s cause. 

“What is taking so long?” I whispered to him only because I had no one else to speak to. 

“Not sure,” he answered. “But look at the professors. You can tell this doesn’t happen often.” 

I looked at the table behind the stool where the headmaster and professors were sitting. They were all watching Peter on the stool with avid attention and wide eyes. Some were even whispering to each other behind their hands. 

I wondered if they were trying to decide what to do if the hat couldn't decide, or if that ever even happened when it finally announced that Peter would be going to Gryffindor. 

James let out a loud whoop next to me as Peter hopped off the stool, his fair skin turned beet red and his blonde hair askew from the hat, looking like he’d just been through a battle. Sirius and Remus were both standing on the bench this time to welcome their friend to the Gryffindor table. 

I was watching them with a smile when James’s name was called. He started walking towards the stool like it was his destiny, but turned his head to look at me over his shoulder, a crooked grin on his face that made a dimple appear in his cheek. “See you on the other side, Princess.” 

My eyes rolled at him, but as soon as he was gone I felt alone and exposed, my brother’s gaze still trained on me. I turned my head to look at him without being able to stop myself. 

His eyes were narrowed at me and he looked bloody pissed. No doubt about the people I had decided to connect myself with at Hogwarts already. There was also suspicion in his eyes, like he already expected me to try to pull something like Sirius did. Thorfinn shook his head once at me, and I knew all I needed to know from that one move. 

Professor McGonnagal moved in the corner of my eye, and I tore my gaze from my brother and back to the front of the room just as she placed the hat on James’s head. I’m glad I looked back when I did, or else I would have missed it when one second later the hat sorted James into Gryffindor. 

He handed the hat back to Professor McGonnagal and walked to the Gryffindor table, chest puffed out, with more confidence than any eleven year old boy that I’d ever seen. 

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my throat when I saw Sirius, Peter, and Remus tackle him into a big hug when he made it to the table. 

And I was still watching them as the next few names got called. 

All four of them were smiling at me as I waited, and Sirius gave me a thumbs up. All of their cheeks were flushed from their own sortings and dog-pile style hug and the hat had made all of their hair look ruffled. But I could feel their happiness all the way across the hall. 

I wanted that same happiness. 

But all thoughts of that erased from my mind the second my name left McGonnagal’s mouth. 

I walked up to the stool with everyone in the room’s eyes on me and feeling like I was walking through water. My limbs felt heavy and leaden, and my palms were slick. 

Because, truth be told, I wasn’t sure what was about to happen. 

Sirius had gotten himself into Gryffindor through sheer force of will, I was sure of it. He said I was brave and strong, but I rarely felt those things about myself. I regularly let my family push me around and tell me what to do. I talked back and tried to stand up for myself, but sometimes I just let the bad things happen to me without a fight. 

Gryffindors didn’t do that, I told myself as I sat down and the hat was placed on my head. 

I could feel Sirius and our new friends staring at me from one side of the room, and my brother on the other side. Instead of looking at either of them, I closed my eyes. 

A small voice sounded in my head that wasn’t my own, and I jumped in my seat. 

“You are torn between your family and your destiny, child.” the voice said. “One of those is much easier to appease than the other. Do you know which one?” 

I said ‘no’ in my head, and immediately heard a light laugh. 

“Yes you do, child. But easy is very rarely the right direction to go in.” he said. “You’re braver than you think. Smart, too. Sometimes it takes an intelligent and courageous person to know when to pick their battles.” 

How did it know what I had just been thinking about? I asked myself. But there was no response. 

The voice was quiet for a few moments, causing me to question what It was on about, but then I heard the word that would change my destiny and define the rest of my life fill the Great Hall. 

“GRYFFINDOR!” the hat shouted, louder than any of the times before, I swear it. 

The table on the far left of the room erupted into whistles, whoops and claps, led by Sirius, I saw when my eyes flew open and to my friend. He was standing on the actual table this time and was doing a stupid little dance, unable to contain his glee. 

Remus was laughing at him and had his fingers in his mouth to make a loud whistle I heard above all the others. 

Peter was clapping loudly. 

James was on the bench, laughing loudly and clapping his hands together over his head. 

These dorks were my friends? I thought to myself with a laugh, but hightailed over to them all the same. 

The four of them caught me into a group hug just like they had with James, and only let go when McGonnagal cleared her throat and shot us all a look that clearly meant to sit down now, please. 

There were a few more people to be sorted, so I took a seat in between Remus and Sirius, the later grabbing my hand firmly and squeezing it as he looked at me, his grey eyes saying everything that he didn’t know how to say out loud. 

I laughed at him, but rested my head on his shoulder. 

I didn’t know how to say what I was feeling either, truth be told. But it was a lot. 

I was still grinning when I noticed a familiar figure jolt up from the Slytherin table before the sorting was through, and my eyes widened. Sirius saw it too, I could tell by the way his shoulders stiffened. 

“Is he coming over here?” He asked me quietly, but James and Peter who were across from us heard him and turned their heads to see my brother storming down the side of the Great Hall. 

“Who’s that?” James asked. 

“My brother.” I mumbled, feeling the usual fear and detest mix in my veins as I watched my brother’s progress across the Great Hall and lifted my head from Sirius’s shoulder. 

But instead of coming to confront me, he bolted through the open doors of the hall and disappeared into the castle. 

“Take it he isn’t too pleased about your sorting.” Remus said. 

“Definitely not.” I said, “Probably off to owl my father as we speak.” 

Sirius’s grip on my hand tightened. “We don’t need them anymore, Lettie. We’ve got each other.” he said resolutely. 

“Oi,” James said across from us, “Don’t forget about us three, you tosser.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it so far! The next chapters will each be a snapshot of each year at Hogwarts. 7th year and beyond will make up the bulk of the story. 
> 
> I'm hoping to have weekly updates, but would also love any feedback or comments if you have any!
> 
> Also, James will eventually stop calling Lettie princess. He's just in an obnoxious phase at the moment.


	3. Tumbling Dice

Year Two   
Sirius's POV 

Baby, I can't stay, you got to roll me  
And call me the tumblin' dice  
Always in a hurry, I never stop to worry  
Don't you see the time flashin' by  
\- The Rolling Stones, “Tumbling Dice,” 1972 

XXXX

“I’m gonna marry that girl, I swear to Merlin.” James said, not caring that everyone in the vicinity could hear him. He was too busy watching Lily Evans breeze by, her auburn hair flying out behind her as she studiously ignored the boy who was sitting next to me. Just like she always did. 

“Bloody hell, James,” Remus said, his own cheeks red from second-hand embarrassment. “Do you have to be so loud?” 

James scoffed and looked at our scar-faced friend with an affronted look on his face. “You can’t keep love like ours quiet, Remus. There’s just no way.” 

Lettie snorted from next to Remus, rolling her dark eyes at James in a move that I had become painfully familiar with over the last year. “Really, James. Get over it already.” 

“Jealous, Lettie?” James asked, waggling his eyebrows in a move he had stolen from me. 

“Not likely.” my childhood best friend replied, not bothering to take her eyes off of the parchment an owl had dropped into her breakfast a few moments ago. 

A letter from home. From her father. I could tell by the way her jaw was clenched tightly. 

Her old man was a bastard, and getting worse every day. He had been old when Lettie’s mom had her, and was now so old that he was well and truly senile. The letter would no doubt be full of nonsense and generally awful things about Lettie and how she was a disgrace to the family of pure-bloods by being friends with who we were friends with. 

Pretty similar to the letters I received from my own mother. But at least Lettie’s dad had the senile excuse on his side. 

Her brother, however, was a whole different story. My hands balled up into fists under the table at the thought of Thorfinn. Thank Merlin he was in his 7th year. At least he wouldn’t be at Hogwarts next year. 

He and his Slytherin cronies took great pleasure in bullying Lettie and me. But mostly her. It had gotten so bad last year that The Marauders had made a pact in our dorm room one night. We all agreed to look out for Lettie and make sure she was never on her own in the castle. 

We didn’t tell her that, of course. She’d have hexed our ears off or something if she knew. 

“Say, Lettie,” James said, drawing my attention back to our own table. “You’re roommates with Evans, you’re pals, put in a good word for me?” he asked. 

From the moment he had laid eyes on her last year on the first day of classes, James had formed an unhealthy obsession with Lily Evans. A feeling that most decidedly was not shared by the red head. She was not shy about sharing how she really felt about my friend. I had never heard the term toe rag used so often in my whole life. 

I couldn’t hide my grin as I watched Lettie raise her eyes to look at James with disdain and lean forward onto her elbows a little. This should be good, I thought. 

“Pretty sure Lily isn’t into arrogant knobheads,” Lettie replied with an evil grin on her face, “but I can ask.” 

I usually tried to stay out of their little squabbles, but the laugh was out of my mouth before it could be stopped. The look on James’s face was just too funny. Even Remus was laughing, trying to hide it behind his hand. And he never got involved with our two friends when they went after each other, which was quite often. 

“Sirius!” James scolded me, “I thought you were neutral in the war that is Potter Vs Rowle?” 

“Dramatic,” Lettie muttered under her breath, focusing back on her breakfast. 

She wasn’t wrong. James liked to refer to the war between them often, but when it came down to, she was part of the Marauders. And they would both do anything for each other at the end of the day, even if they squabbled like an old married couple most days. 

“Nah, mate,” I said with a smile, “That’s Remus. I’ll always take Lettie’s side in the end. We’re blood brothers, after all.” 

I winked at Lettie, who smiled back at me. Both of us remembering the time when we were eight when we sliced each other's hands open and pressed our bloody palms together in a moment of juvenile attachment. 

“Can’t be brothers with a girl,” I heard James muttering next to me, but I didn’t pay him any attention. 

I wouldn’t tell him this, but I considered us brothers, too. Remus and Peter, too. Over my first year at Hogwarts, the five of us had become inseparable. Lettie was friend’s with the Gryffindor girls in our year too, but we were her real friends. Or so I liked to think. 

James’s words from our Welcome Feast last year had ended up being too true. When Lettie’s father and my mother had sent us howlers after being sorted into Gryffindor, our three friends with normal families had acted like our protectors. James even went so far as to hex a Slytherin third year who had called Lettie a blood traitor. 

He’d had detention for a month with Slughorn for it, too. 

But not even James could have been there for me this summer. 

Not when I was locked in my room for days without food or company. Treatment that I suspected Lettie had been subjected to as well, if her thinned out face on the first day of school was anything to go by. I had also been banned from being friends with her, my mother labeled her a ‘bad influence,” so I didn’t get to see her all summer. 

James also couldn't be there when my terrible Aunt Bellatrix would come over with her new husband and lecture me and Regulus about my family duty and blood purity. 

And he especially couldn’t be there for the worst part of it. Of having to watch my once sweet little brother absorb every word my crazy family members spat out. Of having to sit there and watch him slowly turning into them. Of trying to sneak into his room every single night to talk some sense into him, but being turned away each time. 

And then having to watch him be sorted into bloody Slytherin a couple of months ago. 

It had been the worst feeling of my life watching him, still so little, hop off the stool with false confidence and walk over to the table on the opposite end of the room. Lettie’s shit brother Thorfinn smiling like a wolf the whole time. 

I tuned back into the conversation just in time to hear James call Lettie ‘Princess’ which I knew she bloody hated. And then watched as Remus effortlessly defused the angry tension that always seemed to build whenever Lettie and James started in on each other. 

“How’s quidditch going, James?” Remus asked, changing the subject pretty smoothly. He was pretty good at doing that. 

It did the trick and James immediately changed gears. He had been chosen for the team this year as chaser, and loved to tell anyone who would listen that he was the youngest chaser in a century. It didn’t help when he helped Gryffindor win our first game of the year by scoring 70 points on his own. 

He was pretty insufferable, too bad he was also one of my best mates, I thought with a laugh. 

I focused my attention across the table. “You ok?” I quietly asked Lettie, not meaning about her tiff with James, but about the letter she had crushed in her fist. 

She sighed and gave me a sad smile, “Just the usual nonsense. You know, bloor traitor, this, stain on our household, that. Nothing I can’t handle.” 

I reached across the table and grabbed her empty hand, giving it a firm squeeze. 

“You two are such Gryffindors.” a small voice muttered next to me. 

“What do ya mean, Pete?” Lettie asked him, her voice already sounding more upbeat. 

“I just mean,” Peter said, his hands laying flat on the table in front of him. I knew he did that so he wouldn't wring them nervously in front of him, a bad habit of his that he was trying to break. “That it would have been, um, easy for you both to just, you know, be what your family wants you to be. But you’re both brave. And strong, instead.” he said, his fair face very red from his little outburst. 

Peter was the quiet one of the group, that’s to be sure. And it was a different quiet than Remus, who sometimes got lost in his thoughts or books. Peter was quiet because he was always listening. And watching the people around him. 

I didn’t know much about his family life, because he wasn’t an over sharer, but whatever it was like, I got the feeling it had taught him how to be a fly on the wall instead of an active participant in life. 

Which was why I, and my other mates, had made it our mission to bring him out of his shell. Because when he did come out, he was bloody good fun. Unless he was making some observation that was much too serious for breakfast time, like he was now. 

“Thanks, Pete.” I said, giving him a playful smack on the back that made him cough into his pumpkin juice. “You’re not too shabby yourself.” 

His pale blue eyes crinkled at the compliment. 

“What are you three on about?” James asked loudly. He so hated not to be included. A result of him being an only child, I reckoned. And a spoiled one at that. 

“Just telling Pete how great he is,” I said, casually. 

“Of course he’s great.” James said, sitting up taller, “Or else we wouldn’t be his bloody friend now, would we?”   
“Want to work on our charms essay tonight?” Lettie asked Remus, completely ignoring James. 

She and Remus had grown close during our first year. It was childish, but most of the time I was pretty jealous about it. Remus already seemed so sure of himself with his quiet confidence, he had top marks in all of our classes, and he was the tallest in our grade too, which was annoying. Not to mention that scar on his face made him look tough and cool. I had even heard Marlene McKinnon telling Lily how she thought it made him look dangerous and handsome. Not fair. 

When we had first met, I had felt awkward around him. Which wasn’t normal for me. But I’d never seen anyone who looked like he did. It had been distracting almost. But once we were sorted into the same house and the same dorm, I had forced myself to get over it. 

We were destined to be mates, so I let go of any of the weird feelings he had caused in me when he had swept into our little train compartment. 

And if I’m being honest, I think what I was really jealous of was the easy relationship he had developed with my best friend. 

If James and Lettie were oil and water, she and Remus were like rainwater and a puddle. 

Their friendship was effortless, and felt inevitable. I had suspected for months that they liked each other as more than friends, but I’d never dared ask either of them about it. I was scared to, truth be told. 

I’d always assumed that Lettie and I were inevitable. That when we turned into teenagers, we would probably fall in love with each other and then get married one day. It made all the sense in the world to me. We were best friends already, so why not just love each other all the way too? Should be easy, I often thought. But I was still waiting for the romantic feelings for her to kick in. 

And anyways, my envy reared its ugly head again hearing her ask Remus to study with her and I heard myself saying, “I’ll come, Lettie.” to which everyone stared at me like I had grown an extra set of eyes. 

“What?” I asked defensively, “I need to work on the essay, too. Merlin.” 

“You never do your homework,” James said, reaching his hand out to feel my forehead. “Are you ill?” 

But I just swatted his hand away and looked back to Lettie. “After dinner?” 

She looked at me suspiciously, but nodded. “Sure, want to come too Remus?” she turned and asked him.   
I felt my eyes narrow in his direction out of my control. I hated when I acted like this. Really hated it. He was one of my best mates, after all. 

Remus was quiet for a moment and looked quickly at me, “Can’t, sorry, I told Mary I would help her with the essay for Slughorn. These professors have gone mental this year.” 

Everyone emphatically agreed. 

They weren’t the only ones, I thought to myself. 

XXXX

A groan escaped my lips, louder than I meant it to, earning me a harsh look from the librarian who had already been looking at me suspiciously all night. 

Clearly she was as shocked as anyone that Sirius Black had set foot in the library. Even as a second year, I had a bit of a reputation for spending more time pulling pranks than for pulling books off the shelves. 

“Sirius,” Lettie whispered from across the table from me. “Be quiet or you’ll get us kicked out!” 

“But it’s just so boringgg.” I whined, leaning back onto the back two legs of my chair. 

Lettie rolled her eyes at me, but never lifted her quill from the parchment it was flying across. “Then why did you come, then?” she asked, eyes still on the work in front of her. “If you weren’t planning on actually working on your essay.”

Her free hand jabbed a finger in the direction of my own parchment, which I had been doodling moving pictures on, not one word of our charms work written on it yet. 

I shrugged. She quickly gave up on me and got back to work. So I took the opportunity to watch her. 

She really was pretty, I thought. I liked how her dark hair matched her dark eyes almost perfectly. And her mouth was nice, too, I guessed. It was always pink and her lips looked soft and pillowy. She was starting to look less like a little girl and more like a woman, and I grimaced at the thought. 

But it was true. She had lost the baby fat in her cheeks over the last summer, probably from her father withholding her meals as punishment, but it hadn’t come back once she was eating again at school. And her body had new curves forming that she hid under her robes. 

I sat back on all four legs of my chair, and rested my cheek on my fist as I kept watching her. 

Really, she was well and truly pretty. Maybe even fit. 

I think I’ll kiss her tonight, I thought to myself. Nodding a bit at the idea. Yeah, that was bound to do the trick. We’d kiss and realize we were in love, then we would date for the rest of school. That would send the message to Remus that she was off limits, alright. 

For a split second I wondered if she would even want to kiss me, but I squashed that real quick. 

I was Sirius Black, who wouldn’t want to kiss me? 

“Bloody hell, Sirius,” Lettie suddenly whispered, “Stop staring at me. You look mental.” 

“Sorry, Lettie.” I said, “I was just sitting here thinking about how fit you are.” I added, nodding again at how good I was at this flirting thing. She was sure to like that compliment, I thought. 

Which was why I was wholly confused when she stared up at me with a frown on her face which I now realized was very pretty. Why did she look so mad?

“What?” She hissed, loud enough to earn us another shush from the ancient librarian. 

“Nothing…” I trailed off. “Never mind.” 

She looked at me for a moment longer, before returning to her work. Maybe the library wasn’t the best place to get our romantic life started. And I immediately started wracking my brain for more romantic spots. 

“Want to take a break?” I asked, having come up with the perfect plan. “Take a walk outside by the lake?”

“It’s snowing, Sirius.” she said, not taking her eyes from her work. “And no, I don’t want to take a break. I want to finish this bloody essay so I don’t have to worry about it anymore.” 

Ok, I thought. Never mind. 

I looked around the library as I waited for more inspiration to strike, my fingers drumming the table in front of me. That’s when I noticed Lily Evans and Severus Snape tucked away at a table in the corner, both of their heads buried in the same book. Now there was a pair of best friends that seemed like more than friends to me most of the time. Even if I couldn't stand Snivellus and his big, fat nose. 

Poor James, I thought, his heart was sure to break when he realized he never had a shot with her. 

“Reckon they, you know,” I asked Lettie, who was getting annoyed with me, I could tell. But she followed my gaze, “Like like each other?” I asked, finally. Wanting to punch myself for how lame I was sounding. 

Lettie watched them for a few moments, before turning her head back to her work. “Probably.” was her only response. 

I sat there quietly for the next hour or so, deciding it was better for her not to be so cross with me when we finally kissed tonight. When she finally started packing up her things, I did the same in record time. I couldn't tell if I was nervous or excited and still hadn’t come up with a solid plan for executing the kiss.

We were quiet on the walk back to Gryffindor Tower, which apparently was highly suspicious to Lettie. Because when we were about halfway there, she stopped dead in the middle of the corridor and turned to look at me. 

“What’s going on, Sirius?” she asked me, “Why are you being so quiet. It’s freaky.” 

Instead of answering her, I looked both ways up and down the corridor. We were all alone at this time of night. When I looked back at her, she was looking up at me with questioning eyes and a furrowed brow. 

Now or never, I told myself. And without warning, I leaned down and smashed my lips onto hers, a little harder than I meant to. She stumbled back a step or two, but I grabbed her arms and kept her upright and kept my lips on hers. 

Both of our eyes were open, and hers were wide as she looked at mine. 

And then she started to giggle. While we were still kissing. I had zero experience, but I didn’t think that was a good sign. 

I pulled away, and then she really started laughing. Her shoulders shook and tears formed in her eyes. Her laugh was loud in the empty hall, and it echoed off of the stone walls. 

Before I knew it, I was laughing along with her. My hands dropped from her arms, and I actually doubled over from laughing so hard. For some reason, we both plopped down onto the cold stone floor during our laughing fit. And when we finally calmed down, Lettie looked at me with a big smile on her face. 

“What was that, Sirius?” she asked me, but didn’t sound mad thankfully. 

Embarrassment finally washed over me, and I dropped my face into my hands so she couldn’t see my face, which was no doubt red. “Thought I’d get the ball rolling.” I mumbled. 

I felt her soft hands wrap around mine and pull them from my face. “What do you mean?” 

I force myself to meet her eyes. “I just thought that, well, you know,” I said, trailing off. But she was waiting for me to explain myself, so I continued. “Well I always figured we’d fall in love and get married eventually. So I thought we could just get started now?” 

When I said it out loud, I fully realized how mental it sounded. Merlin. 

Lettie was quiet for a moment, before she whispered, “Do you like me, Sirius? Like in that way?”

No, I thought right away. And immediately felt guilty. 

“It’s ok,” she said slowly, still holding my hands in our little pile on the floor. “I don’t think I like you like that, either.” 

I sighed. “Think you ever will?” 

“Think you ever will like me like that?” She asked right away, forcing me to admit that no, I didn’t think so. That kiss had felt like kissing my sister. And I was in no rush to ever repeat it. 

“Don’t think so.” I said in a hushed voice. 

“Me neither.” she said, “I think we are destined to be best friends. And that is enough for me. You know I love you more than anyone else. But that doesn’t mean it has to be that kind of love. Do you know what I mean?”

I nodded back at her, knowing now that she was right. She certainly was wise for a thirteen year old. 

“Like we’re brother and sister.” I said, knowing now for certain that was what this was between us. What it had always been. 

“Exactly.” she said softly. “Blood brothers after all.” she added and held up her palm to me. The one with the small silver scar right in the center that matched my own. 

“I’m such a bloody git.” I groaned, my hands covering my face again. 

I heard her stand up, and then felt her pulling my arms until I was standing too. 

“Come on, you,” she laughed, and started walking back to the tower, lacing her arm through mine like usual. 

“Are you terribly mad at me?” I asked her, looking at her from under my lashes as we walked.   
She didn’t seem mad, really. 

“Not at all.” she said with a grin. “I’m glad my first kiss got to be with my best friend. Not that I ever want to do that again.” she added quickly, making us both laugh. 

“It was pretty bad, wasn’t it?” I asked through my laugh. 

“Terrible!” she giggled, “Next time you try that, give the girl a little warning first. And don’t knock her off her feet.” 

“Well next time you do that, close your bloody eyes. You looked like a bloody owl with your black eyes staring at me like that.” I kidded. 

“Yours were open, too!” she said, smacking my arm as we reach the Portrait of the Fat Lady. “Git.” 

But before she could mutter the password, I stopped her with a hand on her arm. Feeling serious all of a sudden. 

“You like Remus, don’t you?” I blurted out, having to know the answer once and for all. 

She looked like I had smacked her face, she was so shocked. “Is that what this was about then?” 

“No” I responded too quickly. 

She rolled her eyes at me. “No, I don’t like Remus like that. And he doesn’t like me like that, either.” she said and then said the password to get us into the common room. 

“How do you know he doesn’t like you?” I asked her back as she climbed through. 

I couldn’t see her face, but heard her little laugh. “I just know. Trust me.” 

Whatever that means, I thought to myself. But decided to drop it. 

“Hey!” I called as I crawled through the portrait hole behind her, “Can I tell the lads we snogged?” 

“Do that,” she said as she stepped down into the common room, “And I’ll hex your hair purple.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, baby Sirius. I promise he will mature and learn more about himself, but he's 13 in this. And kind of a lovable little idiot. 
> 
> On to third year and Remus's POV! The next four chapters will each be a snapshot from year 3-6 and be from a different POV of this version of the Marauders. From then on, it will cover 7th year and beyond, but still be multiple POVs. 
> 
> As far as canon goes, I am including some aspects of it, but really am not going to stress about getting every single detail right. 
> 
> Anyways, hope you are enjoying so far! Let me know what you think, and thanks to those who have left a kudos!


End file.
